whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize