oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
