Apparently you make a good broom.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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