Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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