so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
