I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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