you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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