Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
