he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
