And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
