My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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