so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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