have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
