i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
