so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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