I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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