we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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