Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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