I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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