I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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