**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
