He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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