Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
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And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
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As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize