you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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