I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
