I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Randomize
