i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
