"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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