Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
