dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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