At least make sure they are 18
Why
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
