I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
