He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
