***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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