I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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