i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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