Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
