2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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