So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
