U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
