I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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