I want to walk on stilts...naked
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
How external is "for external use only"?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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