my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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