i will never coherently bang her
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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