You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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