sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
What drink are we having for lunch?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
