We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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