Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
