We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
