My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Randomize