So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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