Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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