1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
