In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
