Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize