I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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