he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
