Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
