wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
