remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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