if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize