im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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