theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
