Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Randomize
